A Reflection on my Highschool Education (Prompted by our Anti-Racist Document)
On our first day of class, we did something that none of my other classes anywhere have done — we read over and edited an anti-racist document that would be the basis for this course. The fact that I was surprised we did this is bad, because this is something all classes and schools should be doing. Talking about this anti-racist document and making sure that we are an actively anti-racist class got me thinking a lot about what recently has been happening with my highschool. I went to an all-girls private school from 1st-12th grade, and as much as I made fun of the silly traditions and empowering phrases they preach, I was equally aware and thankful for the incredible education that I received. That is, until a few months ago, when my perspective was completely changed.
In light of the Black Lives Matter movement, an instagram account was made for my high school to serve as a place for black students to share their stories. It has exposed an abundance of hard-to-read experiences that undermine the seemingly great education I got. While reading these posts I was saddened, horrified, disappointed…I couldn’t believe what I was reading. And yet, was I really surprised? Sure, I hadn’t heard of most of these stories before, but there were important ones that I had known — that happened to my friends, or that blew up at school and circulated through gossip. And though I wasn’t aware of the extent of it, I knew that administration had a habit of sweeping “scandals” (whether related to race or otherwise) under the rug. Yes, I was angry reading these stories, but I was also angry that I never actively did anything to help stop it. Both underlying and blatant racism has been embedded into my school much longer than the 12 years I was there, and I was complicit in it. Better yet — it seems like the only reason these problems were finally in the spotlight and being dealt with by administration is because this instagram account was publicly calling out my school and quickly gaining traction (getting over 2000 followers in a few days — more than most other accounts in our [NJ] area). My view of my school quickly changed from feeling like it’s nearly-perfect, and hardcore yet a rich/empowering education to being a very flawed, toxic, and shallow community whose main priority is money and its image. I didn’t realize that I grew up with 90% of my teachers being white; I haven’t learned the extensive black history that I should’ve; I grew a blind eye to the many micro-(and macro)aggressions my peers were making; I was simply unaware of the many more acts of racism that black students and teachers have faced starting far back in my school’s history. Suddenly, I was questioning how truly great this school that I’ve idolized is, and I was doubting how rich the education I received was. And on top of that, I knew I was a part of perpetuating these problems, even as a student of color.
Anyone can say they are against racism, that they aren’t racist. Anyone can believe in the way things should be and be disappointed in the way things are. But when people aren’t willing to continuously actively stand against these systems, nothing really is ever going to change. How can we be set on living in an anti-racist world if most of the time, it seems like there’s not enough people that care enough to be actively doing something about it. I now know I need to, can do, and will do more. My school may have taught me how to be a good writer, an eloquent speaker, and an empowered young woman, but they failed to teach me what it means to truly be anti-racist.
